I Love College.

I got into 1 out of the 10 colleges I applied to. I graduated with a double-major and didn’t even make a 3.0 GPA. Back then, if you were to tell me that I was going to get into all 3 of the Masters-level programs I applied to…I would’ve been surprised, to say the least. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even know what a Masters level program was. So, maybe I would’ve been a little confused.

Bachelors. 

Masters. 

Major. 

Minor. 

Remedial Courses.

Gen. Ed.

Pre-Requisites.

Sorority.

Fraternity.

Sheeeeeeeeesh.

Being a first-gen college student and commuter meant having to find out all of this terminology out on my own. It also meant learning how to balance work, school, and personal things without any support. I didn’t understand how people were moving through college so effortlessly. How did they know where to go to handle their financial aid crisis? Did they even have a financial aid crisis? Don’t even get me started on FAFSA and having a parent who isn’t a citizen. How did all these people know where to go to make friends on campus? Who was teaching them all these things and why didn’t I have one of them in my life? It wasn’t until I enrolled into my first Chicanx Studies course with other Latinx students that made me feel seen and safe. Having professors and classmates who represented what my family and friends looked like made a world’s difference. Learning about their unique struggles while starting to process my own allowed me to see that not everyone was gliding freely through college. 

While I didn’t exactly love college like you’re supposed to according to western civilization, I learned what failing and succeeding at the same time looked like. I learned what impostor syndrome felt like. I learned the meaning of assimilation. I learned that being a White-passing Latinx student might grant me more opportunities than my classmates of color. I learned that my Brown last name might not. I learned that struggling to assimilate and overcome impostor syndrome can be traumatic for a young college student, but it can also be so beautiful.